Journey's Beginning
by TiaKisu
Summary: "Remind you of someone? That's me when we first met." – The tenth Doctor was just referring to what the Meta-Crisis had done and to the circumstances of his creation, but what if this had not been meant quite as metaphorically? Obviously AU. Meta!Nine.
1. Prologue

**Journey's Beginning**

The TARDIS's engines wheezed sadly as her Time Rotor came to a halt, recognizing her destination for what it was and knowing what her Lord had decided would have to be done. Her sensors picking up on his internal struggle she sent a silent hum to brush against his mind, telling him how much it hurt her, too, to let go of their Wolf but also supporting him in his desicion.

Before her timelines lay unraveled, the future disclosed. She knew their Rose had to walk a different path, glow brightly in a world that was not their own. They had to let her go. But not without one last embrace, not without a reminder of what would always be her home.

_'Give them this, my Thief' s_he whispered, only for him to hear. '_Give them a part of me so that they may remember. He will take her to the stars again, you know that he will. Give them this.'_

Next to the Doctor a golden shimmer flared, illuminating a small branch at one of the coral struts – a bud, a seed if nothing else. For a moment he just regarded it, new as it was to him, brown eyes dark with the burden he would soon carry. Dark with the knowledge that once again he would leave her behind.

"But not alone. She won't be alone this time."

He almost jumped when Donna's voice suddenly sounded from behind him, her tone compassionate and understanding as somehow she picked up on his thoughts.

"You will still be with her, as the one she got to know. And you'll be able to live the life you always wanted with her. Isn't that good?"

He nodded, hesitantly, debating with himself whether it really was. Because he would not create new memories, would not share all what he offered her; because he would still lose her, in the end.

_'You would always have. In this body you would. But _his_ life is bound to hers, and you are him. It is your forever.'_

Again the bud glowed and this time the Doctor reached for it, tugged gently until it came loose. He clasped it in long, cold fingers and drew in a deep breath. The choice was made, his own timeline forever connected with hers. With him – the one he was before – it would follow the golden trace for as long as time allowed. He did the right thing. For her. Always for her.

"We must go, they're waiting."

A sigh and his shoulders tensing as he pocketed the TARDIS's gift, feeling how a miniscule trace of life was stored deep within it - a part of his ship's consciousness that she was giving to her Wolf.

Beside him Donna gave a small smile, waiting until he got into motion. Back towards this other him and towards her. One last time. To say goodbye forever.

o.O.o

Rose trailed after Jackie slowly as the doors opened before them. She knew where the TARDIS had landed them, knew that their last trip was to take her mother home. She had made her farewells long ago, each time she had departed to search foreign universes only to find her Doctor and yet now she was apprehensive, coming to a halt before the salty air could even register in her nose.  
Something felt strange, out of place, adding to that uneasy feeling that came with leaving her family behind. Again.

It took her a little while but finally she recognized the sensation, turned slightly to see _his _gaze on her – heavy and grey and betraying him.

He watched her from where he stood close to the console, hands buried deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. Stance upright, looking every bit the man she had once run away with and yet in his eyes she saw what he would reveal to no one else but her: His amazement upon seeing her again, like this, his doubts about who he was to her, whether she still remembered.  
She herself had been no less shaken to watch him emerge from a TARDIS they had all thought destroyed, still couldn't really comprehend what had brought him back to existence. The man she had lost in a golden blaze, the one who had vanished from her life, so suddenly – leaving her heart-broken and mourning.

He had told her something about biological meta-crisis and remembering everything, about bearing her pinstriped Doctor's memories as well while they had stirred his trusty ship, all of them together. She had not answered then, still too overwhelmed and even now she didn't quite know what to make of it. What to think of him, what to expect.

Outside, she heard her mum chatter about Tony to the Doctor she had crossed dimensions for, joking about how she would have named the child after the alien she had only come to truly accept as a part of her life after he had regenerated. Strangely unfair, that.  
He laughed, pleased with the easiness with which she treated him – a stark contrast to the frown her first Doctor carried.

"You wanna come?"

The words were out before she'd even thought about them, hazel eyes widening a split second while her own voice rang in her ears. Warm, hopeful, and laced with pain.

"Sure you want me there?"

His own one was gruff, maybe even defeated - right as if he felt like an intruder who did not belong into their world anymore.

"S my mum we're saying bye to." She shrugged, as if that was good enough a reason. And somehow, to him, it was. This was important to her, though hard, and she invited him in. To be part of her life again, even if just for so short a time and he would not pass up the offer.

Nodding curtly, he strode over to where she was, clenching his hands into fists behind the leather as he fought the urge to reach out and lace his once again callused fingers through hers. He had no right to do that anymore he reckoned, carried the memories of the words that had never been answered – carried the knowledge of who they had been meant for. And so he just walked her by, dipping his chin slightly as he motioned for her to go ahead - missing the look that flashed over her features as he moved past, just like he did the twitch that travelled her right hand.

While from behind Donna breathed a silent sigh, the two of them walked out onto the sand, closely followed by the redhead.

"There we are again."

Muttered under her breath, Rose's words nearly got lost between the rustling of the waves and the breeze but Jackie Tyler heard her nevertheless.

A sympathetic smile ghosted over the older woman's lips while she turned away from the Doctor she had been talking to, knowing well what this place meant to her daughter. While she had found a new home in this universe, maybe even a better life, Rose had lost hers on this beach. And she was about to lose it again. The blonde could see it in those brown eyes that regarded her child with longing and regret, a truth written in their dark that for reasons that eluded her was veiled to the one he did this for.  
She saw it in the redhead's gaze, too, and she breathed heavier for it. Getting her daughter back should have made her happy – in a way it even did – but all the same it also burdened her. For she knew that once more Rose's heart would be broken. And it would be her task, again, to try and mend what could not be repaired.

Steeling herself for the inevitable, Jackie finally affirmed "Back home" and let her gaze soften, determined to help her child in whichever way she could. And if that only meant being there for her when for the second time her world would fall apart.

Next to her the Time Lord suddenly tensed up, stepping away from her somewhat before he released a long breath, finally dropping the bomb.  
"Where you both belong."

One heartbeat. Another one.  
Then hazel eyes widened in confusion.

"What?" Rose's question was but a whisper on the wind but all the same it sounded like thunder in its rawness. Her eyes were on him in an instant, boring into his and demanding for an answer.

Squaring his shoulders, he didn't flinch under her burning stare, just willed her to understand.

"The walls between the universes are closing again, you've got to go home."

"But, this isn't home" she insisted, drawing back from him and her mother as if she had been burnt "You know it isn't. I spent all that time trying to find you, I will not" she had to suppress a shiver "I won't stay here."

He sighed silently, fighting to not show her his own anguish over the choice that he had made.

"But you must." He wanted her to see, desperately wanted her to comprehend why there was no other way. But he had yet to find the words with which he could accomplish that, casting a glance towards Donna who he knew was his only help in this.

The young woman stood back a little, watching the scene and ready to speak up for the man who was like a brother to her when not far from her the other Doctor suddenly ground out: "She needn't do anything. If she doesn't want to, you can't make her stay. It's her choice not yours."

He was angry, that much was easy to tell. His Northern accent sounded harsh and defensive, catching everyone by surprise.

"But it isn't, that's the whole point about it." While his meta-crisis self narrowed pale blue eyes at him, the double-hearted Doctor let his shoulders sink, shifting his attention to the one he had once been.

"We saved the universe today, all of the universes, but at a cost." And suddenly his eyes, too narrowed – hurt and disappointment flashing in the brown. "And the cost is you."

"I am _you_" There was a growl in how the leather-clad man spoke "And it has nothin' to do with Rose!"

"It has everything to do with her. You destroyed the Daleks, you committed genocide. Again." The Time Lord's gaze was cold and accusing, making it easier for the woman next to him to choose a side if ever she could. "You were born in battle, twice, full of blood and anger and revenge. Too dangerous to be left alone."

He watched his other self deflate the very moment he reminded him of the circumstances of his creation and why his genetic code had been chosen, watched as haunted pale eyes flickered to look horror-stricken at Rose, guilt now seeping into them like a shadow.

"She's got to stay. To look after you" his tone softened then, belying his true intentions "like she has done before."

It took several beats of his twin-hearts before the Doctor could tear his gaze from the one he had originated from, needed Rose to release a shuddered breath to break his focus.

"But" she swallowed hard, forcing the air to pass her tightening throat "he's not you."  
Although her words spoke of something different she sounded doubtful, torn between what her mind seemed to know and what something deep inside insisted was true instead.

"He is me when we first met, and he needs you. We always have." Suddenly it was his own voice that nearly broke while he regarded her, taking her in with eyes that he knew were to never see her like this again. "You made us better, and you can do it again."  
He was pleading by now, pleading with her to not make it any harder on him.

All the while, around them Jackie and her first Doctor stood still, lost in their own thoughts when suddenly Donna stepped forward, recognizing that the young blonde did not yet understand.

"There's more to it than that though" she said, locking her gaze with Rose's. "Don't you see what he's trying to give you? A chance to start all over." Then she glanced at the single-hearted man, encouraging him. "Tell her. Go on."

While Donna had never gotten to travel with this version of the Doctor she knew him, knew him just as well as she did the Time Lord who had chosen her as his companion.  
They were one, connected in the love they felt for this one human – their pink and yellow girl. Both of them had always been frightened, frightened to lose her to time and old age, scared of a future that would be devoid of her presence – an eternity to spend without her by their side. This was their chance to live without that fear, and she wouldn't let them pass on it.

"Tell her" she prodded again, nodding as she reached out with her mind, nudging him like his ship would have always done – making him comprehend what her Doctor was truly giving him.

He gasped as finally he took her point, almost recoiled as Rose turned to look at him, searching his face for something even she herself didn't know to name.

"I" he began but faltered, arching his back and suppressing the urge to run. Rose's gaze was fixed on him, open and yet surrounded by a wall that he could not penetrate, try as he might. She was waiting for him to give her a reason, to explain what Donna would not reveal. Thrown back in time and into a world that wasn't her own she wanted him to make it right, like he had before, like he always would. But he had betrayed her, more than once. And the offer felt like that, too – like treason.

"It's no' just the looks, Rose" he finally found the strength to continue, although where that strength came from he did not know, choosing his words as wisely as he could "it's me, too. Inside. Am who I was before, when we were still travellin'. Complete with the daft old face an' the stupid grins."

He forced his lips to curl, a pathetic attempt to make her smile but she only frowned at him, bewildered.

His shoulders slumped then.

"Got all the memories, all the thoughts. 'S all the same, 'cept-"

There were tears in her eyes, almost brimming over, an old hurt melting into her gaze that had his single heart beat painfully against his chest. He could still remember the way she had looked at him after his regeneration, remembered how she had cried over him, _this_ him – the one he was now – and he saw it all surface anew. She looked at him and in her eyes he didn't see the woman she had become, because in their depths His Rose awakened as if she had risen from a slumber. Yearning and wounded, lost and alone.

"Have only got one heart this time 'round. " How he managed to let his voice sound so steady he had no idea. He was shaking, and while no one else seemed to notice he knew that Rose did.

Tentatively, she took a step towards him, quivering lips parting to ask what echoed in her mind: "What's it mean?"

There was an odd kind of curiosity in her tone, a foreboding that unsettled him as much as it amazed him.

"It means that I'm part human. I will age, no funny tricks anymore. No regeneration. Just … jus' this one heart." He added the last bit as kind of an explanation, shifting his weight to his other foot uneasily while he gauged her reaction.  
The frown on her face intensified, her mind reeling to catch up with what he had just told.

"You'll grow old?" she finally breathed "Same time as me?"

He could suddenly hear her past self, almost choked when he became aware of what lay in her voice was above everything else – hope.

Numbly, he shook his head yes.

"Only got this one life now, Rose" Inside, this lone precious organ that now sustained his whole fragile new body started thrumming against its confines, reminding him of the painful truth of what he said, making him feel incredibly vulnerable as he prepared to finish what he had begun. "We … could spend it together. If you want."

Blood rushed in his ears, creating a noise that was disconcerting as much as it was annoying but he ignored it all when Rose advanced him, a single stubborn tear trailing down her face.

"A life together?"

She reached out for him with a shaking hand, warm fingertips settling on where his jacket left his jumper exposed - right above his heart.  
Feeling the beat underneath them and the warmth that he emitted she looked up at him in wonder, unbelieving and yet longing for what she had always thought she could never have.

"For as long as you will have it."

His breath caught in his throat, a burning sensation that came with her presence, with her touch. Hesitantly, as if he feared she might just disappear the moment he moved he lifted his own hand, curled long fingers about hers and squeezed them gently. He didn't know if it was enough, if it could ever be enough for her. He wasn't the man she had fought for, wasn't the one she had returned for and a part of him broke under the burden that this knowledge was to him. And still he offered his future to her, this fleeting glimpse in time that was the only thing he had left to give.

While she turned her palm away from the soft fabric that he wore, hazel gaze on how her fingers intertwined with his without her demanding them to, naturally as if they had never been parted, she felt herself drown in this moment – in what was returned to her. And she wanted to believe, this part of her that had never stopped missing him blazing and consuming her, holding on to him so that he might never vanish from her life again.

She hardly registered when from behind her pinstriped Doctor spoke up, telling about something that they both better take with them. The promise of a life in the stars.

_'My gift to you and your Thief.'_

She heard the TARDIS in her head, whispering, a sound like chimes, ancient and new, startling her.

_'I will grow once more, my Wolf, for you and for him. When the time has come we will be one again.'_

Unconsciously she brought her free hand up, grasped at familiar black leather for support, unable to decipher whether what she heard was real and yet recognizing, somehow, the voice with which the ship spoke. As if she had encountered it before.

She felt him glance down at her just before he unfurled his left arm, accepted the coral bud while he listened intently to Donna's rambling speech – words that held no meaning to Rose but which obviously were rather intelligible for the two men.

"Wouldn't 'ave thought of that. Quite clever, that's what you are."

Almost she could hear the appreciating smile her first Doctor bestowed upon the redhead, felt him store the precious item away in this pocket that still was trans-dimensional.

"Oh, and" this time it was him who spoke up – the man she had grown to love as much as the one whose warmth invaded her like a gentle haze. "I reckon you might find this to be useful."

Another item tossed, her hand slipping from the Doctor's as he caught the device, grey eyes wide in surprise.

"That's your screw-driver" Rose mumbled as she, too, caught sight of what had been exchanged. "But… don't you need it?"

"Nha" the Time Lord smirked, brown gaze for once alit and content "made myself a copy. This one's for you."

For a moment it seemed he wished to say more, like there was something else he wanted them to know but suddenly the TARDIS wheezed behind them, reminding them of that time was running short. His smile died that very instant.

"We got to go" he clarified for her as much as him "this reality is sealing itself off. Forever."

While she tore away from the Doctor who was all leather and human, the Time Lord spun on his heels, not bearing to look her in the eyes when he knew she couldn't possibly just accept what had been decided on for her.

"But it's not right." Her voice was close to breaking, revealing her inner struggle to understand. "He's… The Doctor, it's still you." She bit her lip then, face pallid and tears upon her cheeks. Lost and forlorn as she was.

"And I was him." His tone was rough, very nearly cold even but underneath there lay a truth he had always dreaded to lay open. Yet as he saw her he knew he could not keep it from her any longer. "He became me for you, Rose Tyler. And he would do it again if he had to."

There was a sharp intake of air and her head jerking up as she realized what he was telling her, read between the lines and decoded the meaning of his disclosure.

"Is that true?" She breathed, lips trembling and hazel gaze back on sharp features and pale eyes that shied away from her, strangely sad and haunted. "Did you regenerate because of me?"

He opened his mouth as if to speak but no sound would follow the move. There was just the wind and the sea. In the end it was his silence that was her answer.

"All right then" her heart hammered within her as she spoke, voices, images tumbling through her mind, tormenting her with a newfound knowledge but also kindled feelings she had once buried in the deepest recesses of her memory.  
"Both of you, answer me this." She had to know, know now before she shattered. Needed them to not hide from her any longer. "When I last stood on this beach on the worst day of my life" her gaze flickered between them, took them both in alternately as her first Doctor walked up to her reluctantly "What was the last thing you said to me? What would you have said?"

Her breaths came quick and short, her chest rising and falling in an agitated rhythm while she turned to the Time Lord first. A part of her wanted him to say it, wanted to hear the words from him. Another wanted him to fall silent.

He did.

_Does it need saying?_ She could have said yes, could have replied what he should not have been asking for in the first place. But she turned instead, gathered whatever strength she had left within herself to whisper.  
"And you, Doctor" her voice almost cracked, calling him by his name for the first time since he had returned to her "How would that sentence have ended?"

A muscle worked in his jaw while he regarded her, his eyes suddenly blue and his soul laid bare in front of her. In their depths she could see him fight – against things he had always kept from her, saw when finally he appeared to make a choice because he had nothing left to lose, save her.  
And so he leant forwards, lifted long fingers to ease a strand of hair behind her left ear, his thumb brushing against her skin gingerly, almost reverently. Reveling in the sensation – right as if it was the most wonderful thing he ever had experienced.

"It would've ended like it always would" he offered, bending down as he lowered his lips to the crown of her head, allowing them to ghost over it before he exhaled, murmured into her hair, low but solemnly.  
"I love you. I shouldn't but I do."

He drew back before she even could react, leaving her to stare at him with eyes that again weren't her current ones anymore but which belonged to that version of herself who had lost him that day on the Game Station, in the wake of their fate.  
The sob that left her shook her body, the relief in the muffled sound reverberating in her system only to be replaced a moment later by a longing for his presence that washed over her like a tidal wave.  
Her hands sought purchase in his jumper albeit her senses seemed to have shut down on her, that part of herself that had always belonged to him taking control and stealing from him what he had once denied her to remember.

His lips felt soft and warm and infinitely familiar, their taste still a mixture of time – of past and present and future. He gave them all to her, responded to her kiss with a kind of despair that burnt in herself as well. Two souls reunited where they had least expected it, forced to lower any masks and any walls. He was there with her, single-hearted or not, laying his life in her hands like he had done before, building his own future on whatever time she would grant him.

He was the one she had first fallen in love with, was the one she could never forget. He had been there within her pinstriped Doctor, had reassured her whenever she had doubted. He had come back.

The world around her started to spin as her lungs began to hurt, starved of oxygen as by then they were. Clutching at the fabric beneath her fingers for support she slowly drew back a little, panted as her breath mingled with his on lips that still tingled and tasted like him. And only when he tensed under her touch did she notice the quiet creak that the TARDIS's door released.

Although somewhere in her mind she knew that this would hurt him she jerked away, almost tripped as her knees at first refused to budge. Her feet moved on their own accord, carrying her towards the ship that prepared for flight.

He had already vanished from her gaze, had bereft her of yet another closure. But Donna was still there, leaning against the wooden texture and regarding her with an almost motherly gaze.

"The Doctor and Rose Tyler" she whispered as if she was foretelling something only she could see "In the TARDIS. As it should be."

And she smiled, nodded at the blonde because she, too, heard the ship hum behind her in farewell.

_'Goodbye, my Wolf. We shall not meet again. Not like this.' _The TARDIS sang and somehow she sounded strangely hopeful, her engines whirring with an ancient knowledge. '_But my child will be with you. Look after her, together with your Thief. Go and see the stars, my cub. Go and know that you will never be forgotten.'_

The doors closed, the Time Rotor grinding into life as the blue box dissipated, leaving this reality for one last time - the proud vessel's flaring light the last greeting that she sent their way: her pink and yellow human and this version of her Lord who had once burnt for the Bad Wolf.

While each breath came with the distinct feeling of fire and of ice, Rose stared at the fading blue, mesmerized by the words that still echoed in her head with unknown clarity. She hardly felt the ground beneath her soles, or the winds that passed her by – was lost in this moment that was an ending as much as it was a beginning. Left behind and yet granted a new life. Letting go of all that had been she was expected to embrace the path that lay before her, no matter how utterly scary and fantastic it was.  
The universe for sure had a twisted sense of redemption.

But it wasn't cruel. Not to her, not this time.

Her fingers laced through his effortlessly when silently he appeared at her side, equally doubting, equally enthralled. He looked down at her she knew, blue gaze open and seeking her own. To tell her of the chance that they were given, and of a promise he had no intentions to break.

He was there with her, _for _her, needing her like he always had; to build a new home with her, to return her to the stars where she belonged if only she would let him. And while she mourned, couldn't help but grieve over the one she had learned to love as well, she leant into him, felt his new warmth soothe her pain as he wrapped his arms about her. Shielding her like only he could ever have and it was then that she truly understood.

She had been given her very own forever. With him. Maybe not how she had imagined it, but in the end it still was what she had always wanted.

"_Goodbye_."

The sound got carried away by the breeze, a whisper that would never reach the one it was meant for as she voiced out what he had never granted her, not even now, and set the seal on her past.

Behind her she felt his previous self tense before he bent his neck, resting his chin on top of her head, not daring to speak out while together they watched how their old life faded from existence. To make way for something new and ultimately frightening - the biggest journey that either of them could possibly think of:

A life that would be theirs alone to live – him and her. Together.


	2. Of Donna and the Stars

_**A/N: **Well, since I have obviously decided to give this scenario a try and turn it into a multi-chapter story I would like to address a few things that I deem to be important. So if you could spare me a minute that would be greatly appreciated.  
_

_1) I am a slow writer. It's only fair to let you know. English is not my mother tongue so adding to thinking about the plot and the characters are a limited vocabulary that I try to spice up using my dictionaries and a thesaurus, and all the other issues that come with writing in a foreign language. Hence I cannot promise you any kind of updating schedule. Also, I apologize in advance for any mistakes made. I really try to do my best but at the end of the day I'm still only human, and learning.  
_

_2) I will stubbornly ignore the fact that in the canon version of events the meta-crisis Doctor did not only "inherit" a human body from Donna but also part of her personality. For one thing do I think that Nine is sassy enough already and I really can't see him be all Donna-ish in addition to his own - not so - occasional rudeness, and for another do I consider this to be the one element that irks me about "Journey's End" and Rose's getting her own Doctor. So, yeah, there's no half-ginger-half-Doctor meta-crisis here. Just good old fantastic Nine._

_3) Naturally, the first chapters are going to focus mostly on how everyone copes with the situation at hand. I have no plans of turning this into a soap opera though. There will be adventure, it's Rose and the Doctor after all – even stuck on earth for some time they would manage to find trouble – but first I think they need to have the opportunity to sort this mess out that Ten left them with._

_And now that that's said, I hope you will enjoy the read. And that I won't screw this up.  
Thanks to everyone who followed and/or faved and/or reviewed what is now the Prologue. That really meant a lot! =)  
_

_TK  
_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Of Donna and the Stars  
**

The cab pulled into the driveway to the old but surprisingly appealing guesthouse, the dark red and whitish colours of its exterior giving the manor kind of a warm atmosphere that guests usually appreciated about this place.

Jackie had found it on the internet, contacting the owners to ask about vacancies while the Doctor and Rose had watched the ever restless sea shift and listened to its whispered tales about this world that despite everything was still so alien to both of them. Each of the two lost in their own thoughts and silent, their hands had long parted.

The older Tyler paid the driver with what little she had brought for the trip back to her home universe, eternally grateful that Pete had instantly volunteered to take care of the rest. A flight was already booked for them, going the next day. For the night they would stay here - the little bed and breakfast an insider's tip if the web was to be trusted.

Walking in, it quickly became obvious the inside of the building matched the outsides in that the chosen furniture seemed comfortable and inviting. There was a group of armchairs placed in a small room that diverted from the entrance hall, behind them a table on which books and a vase with flowers were placed. The hall itself was filled with mementos from all over the world, a sign for a life that was once spent travelling.

"Misses Tyler?" a middle-aged woman with a kind face and a faint accent called from behind the counter at the far end, keen green eyes settling on the older of the two as Rose and her mother approached her, followed by the Doctor.

"That's me. I phoned to ask for rooms. My husband might have called as well."  
Jackie nodded in greeting as she stepped up to the reception, her mobile held up high as if to prove her words.

"He did" the landlady confirmed pleasantly, tilting her head a little so that her gaze brushed past the young woman and the gent who waited patiently and yet oddly uneasily behind her new costumer. "Three one-bed rooms, just tonight was it?"  
Her tone was unassuming albeit slightly doubtful, as if now that she saw her guests she would have expected another request.

"That would be great yes." Jackie accepted momentarily but then furrowed her brows and glanced at the pair. "Unless you and I want to share, sweetheart. Or if you and the Doctor-"  
As she trailed off she shrugged her shoulders gently, obviously quite uncomfortable with the idea but willing to accept her daughter's choice whatever that would be. The decision, however, was made by him instead.

"Three'll be fine." The Doctor nodded briefly. Regarding her with steel grey eyes and an air of self-awareness about him he didn't seem to notice how beside him Rose flinched hearing the resolution in his voice. She suspected she knew why he was doing this, why he thought it better for them to have their own quarters and in a way she even agreed, needed time to get to terms with all what this day had brought about. All the same she just wanted him to stay with her.

Drawing her lips into a tight line Rose turned from him ever so slightly, relenting while the keys were handed over.

The woman at the desk watched them silently in their exchange, knowing better than to intrude on affairs that were not of her matter. The three of them were quite lucky anyway. Usually the little bed and breakfast was booked out this time of the year however the great fair that currently resided in Oslo kept guests from coming to the little sea-side town these days.

"You will find the rooms all situated in the second floor" she eventually explained, voice calm and decidedly friendly, pointing towards a corridor that lead from the entrance. "Just go up the stairs and turn right. Breakfast is served at eight, but you may come any time until eleven. If you need help, please do not refrain from asking."

After bestowing another smile upon the three of them and wishing a pleasant night she returned to her other tasks, filling in forms and sorting receipts while she left them to make their way to where she had gestured.

.

The old and well-worn stairs creaked under their feet while they walked, once again, in silence. It was almost unnerving to the older Tyler how little her daughter and the Time Lord had spoken since the TARDIS had disappeared for what she suspected was for good, but she would not press either of them. If she had learned one thing about those two in the past years then it was that they had their own rules, needed their own time. Their world had just been turned upside down, and if she already felt worn out then how could they be possibly any better?

Taking one of the keys she searched the first door for any sign that this was one of the rooms rented, deciding that maybe they would be better off without her for now, and indeed found the name _Bryne_ written on both of them.

" I'll take that one then if that's okay with you both." Offering the other two keys to Rose Jackie stifled a sigh and added: "If anyone needs me, knock. And that means you, too."

She regarded the Doctor with a poignant look as she said this, feeling strangely sympathetic for this man who had nothing left but them.  
While Rose turned the metal in her hands, studying the wooden keychains absent-mindedly, hardly paying attention to what her mother said, he watched her awkwardly, head jerking up as he realized that he was the one addressed. A fleeting look of panic crossed over his face, but just as quickly as it came it was gone, replaced by an expression that Jackie didn't know to read.

"Just" eventually she decided she would just leave them alone; see what came from that "make sure you two get some sleep. God knows how much we all need that."  
There was no ambiguity in her voice, no apprehension or admonition that in another time, another life really, she might have felt inclined to let show in it. Tonight she really just wanted them to take a rest, deal with the events of today later when they were less sore, and less exhausted.

Not waiting for a response from either side she eventually turned the key, glancing at Rose one last time before she retreated, hoping that somehow tomorrow would be a better day.

While behind her the door fell shut with a quiet click the Doctor released an audible breath, shoulders tensing the instant Rose looked up.

"You want Ålesund or Volda then?" she asked, seeking his gaze, sounding casual although there was a strain in her voice that belied her.

They stood next to each other in the stillness of the small corridor, strangely apart between all those rooms that enclosed them and felt almost like a confinement.

Shuffling his feet, he shrugged.

"Volda sounds nice" he murmured, but for once she couldn't decipher if he really meant it.

Grimacing slightly she handed him the matching key and scrunched her nose in obvious doubt. "You think?"

The thoughtful hum the Doctor gave her in reply travelled the little distance effortlessly and for a split second she felt a miniscule smile tug at the corners of her lips, as she recognized the sound for what it was.

The ghost of a sheepish grin in place, he shook his head. "No."

His accent lay heavily in the air, the two letters laden with it. The word that they formed was so small, insignificant even and yet it triggered something inside her, had her heart contract with an almost painful beat when involuntarily Rose recalled how he had wielded it as nothing less than a weapon, on the day that she had lost him.

Her hands clenched into fists around the keys while the memory played in her mind, the colour fading from her cheeks and she inhaled sharply when suddenly she felt him study her, worried, his own near smile gone at the speed of sound.

"You alright?"

She had all but forgotten how it felt to be at the receiving end of his scrutiny, how different the weight of his pale gaze was from the brown she had gotten used to because it was the only thing that gave him away, the only entry to his thoughts.

"Just tired, is all."

Why she lied to him, she couldn't even tell just knew he didn't buy it, not for a single second. All the same he accepted her pretence, nodded curtly before he arched his back a little, releasing her somewhat of his proximity.

Glancing towards the door with the _Volda_ on it he shifted uncomfortably where he stood but waited until she turned her left hand, palm upwards, and offered him the key.  
He took it wordlessly from her - the touch of unusually warm fingertips feather-light on her skin, making her frown.

The sensation was so strange somehow, hauntingly familiar and yet all new. Different and still the same. It reminded her of how she had lost and gained him all at once; of how he was something utterly new, something she didn't even understand in its entirety yet – someone she still knew better than he maybe gave her credit for.

She saw him in those haunted eyes, recognized the shadows she had chased away; saw the wounds that she had once helped stop bleeding – back in that time that now was but a memory. What were a single heart and the missing cold when he was still her Doctor?

But to him her thoughts were inaccessible, his interpretation of her expression and her reverie the wrong one as he pulled back quickly, enclosed the metal and wood in long callused fingers and released a shallow breath.

"Try and get some rest" he muttered quietly, gently, as if he thought his presence might be a burden to her, reminding her of what she had been bereft of. No matter the tale her kiss had told.

Pale eyes averted it appeared he wanted to say something else, too, but eventually refrained from doing so. He tensed visibly when she looked straight at him, whiskey coloured gaze guarded and assessing.  
Although she had no idea where it came from, she saw a flash of pain in the grey she still knew to read and it had her wince. He was himself, no matter how many hearts or what body temperature, and he still knew how to nurture doubts that he shouldn't harbour in the first place.

But she was too tired to see about them now, begin the task that he himself had set on her and so she allowed him to draw back a little, dip his chin and turn as he began to make his way towards his room, the black leather of his jacket rustling quietly in the calm around them.

"Doctor?"

His name was out before she could think better of it and he instantly froze when she called him, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Come in for a little while? I really don't want to be alone right now and…" While she should have known how to end that sentence, she didn't. There was no good reason she could give him other than that she dreaded the emptiness at the other side of the door, dreaded to go in and find that she had just imagined him to be there, with her in this universe.

There was nothing she expected from him although he had said the words to her, didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or force something on him that quite frankly she wasn't sure he would ever be ready for. But she needed him, and the reassurance that his existence here was to her. And apparently, just for once, his understanding of her was back again.

It took a few agonizingly slow beats of her heart, but finally he tilted his head and looked at her across his shoulder, taking her in. She knew he was contemplating what she asked of him, tried to ascertain what would be the best for her, regardless of himself, and when obviously he decided that he just couldn't refuse her this if it was really what she wanted, he nodded. His right hand moving to bury his key in the depths of his pockets and staying there he returned to her.

There was the distinct trace of caution in the way he moved, and he kept a certain kind of distance even as he came to a halt at her side again.

Suppressing a sigh she took her own key and turned it in the lock, leaning against the wood to push it open.

The room behind with its furniture of a light brown colour and large windows that let in the pale shine of moon and stars seemed inviting enough. While Rose flicked the switch to turn the lights on the Doctor trailed after her, lingering in the entrance as she walked over to where a bed and cozy covers suddenly seemed incredibly alluring.  
Sitting down on them unceremoniously her body reminded her most vehemently of how worn out she really was, having jumped dimensions and fought against Daleks once again. As if she hadn't had enough of that already. But despite her aching bones she was restless; scared even of what her dreams might bring once she succumbed to her exhaustion.

All the while next to the door, the Doctor worked a muscle in his back before he stuffed his other hand in the pocket of his beloved jacket as well, quite obviously at a loss of what to do.

Hardly had she ever seen him be this uneasy, no matter in which body and she wondered if that was what she had to expect of him now. The prospect didn't seem too favourable to her, but she guessed she couldn't really hold his trepidation against him. If she had been in his place, if she had seen him run after another version of herself while she had just promised her future to him – she doubted she would be any more relaxed about the situation. Add that to his memory of how different she and he had been after he had regenerated and his current state of mind would be no surprise anymore. And she couldn't even just dispel those thoughts that somehow she knew weighed him down, because she _did_ mourn the man who had left her behind. They were one and the same, she had learned that quickly enough or else she would have never taken her second Doctor's hand - and yet in a way they also weren't.

"You think he'll be alright?"

He cringed quite visibly as she bit her lip, released a question that could just too easily make him withdraw further but which still she had to ask.

After a long moment of silence he finally answered to her.  
"He's got Donna, she's part Time Lord now."

The declaration was a blatant disregard of the truth, he was well aware of that, but what else was there to offer? He couldn't possibly explain to her that by now the brilliant ginger would most likely not even know his name anymore. That once again the Doctor would be alone. His own stomach churned at the idea, the immeasurable agony that this other him had felt after the events of Canary Wharf resurfacing with unexpected force.

In his pockets his hands clenched until their nails cut into tender flesh, the physical pain bringing him some relief at last.  
He remembered what he had felt like back then and it mixed with everything that his current body was so prone to, with the pain and the guilt and above all the despair. And all of a sudden he was glad that he had worn a suit and a tie at that time, had been alive enough to take Donna onboard for he didn't even dare and think about how this him, the one he was once more, would have coped with losing this pink and yellow human whose timeline had wound itself so tightly around his own. If he would have coped at all.

"She'll keep him in line."

Another impossibility, another stab to his chest. He would have to tell her the truth one day, wouldn't even be able to keep it from her now if only her eyes were not focused on a random spot at the floor. He really didn't lie easily in this incarnation, not when it came to things like this, and he hardly ever could to her.

"Yeah, she's quite good at that, right?" There was the unmistakable trace of relief in her tone and then, much to his surprise, he saw her lips curl slightly. "Don't know her as well, but even I can tell that she's amazing. Stood right up to you, I bet."

Unnoticed by either of them, she had switched back to talking about her Doctors as one person, a distinct fondness colouring the words as unconsciously she acknowledged the man opposite to her to be as real as the Time Lord she might not ever see again.

"Insulted me alright."

It was just meant to be a statement. He hadn't really intended for it to sound defiant yet as the half-grumble came out together with a barely audible sniff he realized this was exactly what it did. And it obviously amused her, her eyes suddenly twitching to glance at him.

His jaw dropped just a bit when then something lit up in them and she smirked: "Well, someone had to."

Rose didn't know whether it was her exhaustion that had her tease him, latch on to old habits so effortlessly, or whether it was that almost pout he showcased and which as she was rather certain he wasn't even fully aware of - and quite honestly she didn't really care.  
He blinked at her, dumbfounded, searching her face for something she didn't know and suddenly, just like this, part of the awkwardness that had built up between them over the past few hours, since she had left his embrace in fact, dissipated; giving way to a familiar easiness that had always, somehow, defined them.

When he huffed in response she actually almost laughed.

His arms were already on the move, crossing in front of his chest as finally some of the tension seemed to leave him as well.  
"She called me skinny."

"I know!"

Despite the tiredness that he could see radiate from her in waves she was outright grinning at him now, head tilted to the side and eyes more alive than he had seen them be ever since he had run towards her earlier this day, all messy hair and pinstriped clothes.

There was a glow about her that almost he thought would have been lost together with his other self, but as he dared to take a closer look he realized that it was not that kind of glow at all. The smile she wore, and her expression – he hadn't seen them for far longer. Not since he had told her about the dogs with no noses. It reminded him of how, on the beach when he had laid his one heart bare to her he had seen His Rose in her eyes. She was there still, in the brown, just like he had been hidden in those dark depths that had scared her so much the first time she had seen them. After his regeneration.  
Maybe, after all, it wasn't only Time Lords who could change to become someone new. And maybe in the end he wasn't the only one returning.

"Can you tell me about her?"

Her whispered question tore him from his short reverie; let him sober and his throat tighten just a bit.

"What's travelling with her been like?" Her mirth gone again she just regarded him calmly, let the reasons for asking him show in her gaze. "Did you go someplace nice together?"

What she really wanted to know was that he had not been alone while she was gone, that he had still laughed and had a hand to hold when she had not been there to offer hers. She wanted to hear that he had been happy and it instantly humbled him how even after all what happened she put him first. It was irony, really, that so he did with her.

A deep breath entered his very human lungs as he leant back against the wall, sank down until he sat comfortably with his legs angled to support his arms. He had not forgotten how Rose sounded when she wanted to hear more than just a one-sentence answer and he was willing to give her what she craved, set his mind to focus on the good times he had with the ginger and ignore the guilt that came with each memory.

"Donna was brilliant" he eventually began, arching his neck to that he could hold her gaze as she, too, relaxed. While she shifted, turned to settle against the headboard with her knees drawn up and the large pillow soft against her back, he proceeded to tell her of whatever he could bear to share. "You would've loved 'er. Screamed blue murder when we first met; thought I was travellin' around abducting women she did."

A faint chuckle resonated in his chest as he told Rose of their first encounter, the sound of it surprising him as much as her for it had been too long for both of them since they had last heard it.

"Wasn't the first time though you were accused of that", she shook her head and was that a giggle she released? He couldn't help but feel just a little warmer at the notion.

"Rose Tyler" he feigned exasperation, knowing exactly she was playing at when she had vanished from the face of the earth for a whole year, scaring her mother half to death in the process - thanks to him no less "_that_ was an accident and I'll have you know that I had nothin' to do with Donna's trip to the TARDIS. Wasn't my fault that."

Now she snickered. Truly snickered and his heart skipped a beat. Funny how she still had so much control over that part of him, different though it now was.

"'Course not" she mocked, but there was no sting to her words, just amusement - and affection. And in the wake of both whatever uneasiness he had felt before was gone; whatever doubts there had been about what his place in her life would really be, they didn't matter anymore.  
In the dim brightness of the hotel room he and she were just that again: The Doctor and Rose Tyler, re-discovering what it felt like to be together, just the two of them.  
He reveled in the brilliance of it all, engraved this very moment deep into his memory because right now if asked he would swear that there was nothing better than having her listen to him while he went on, unlocking a past to her that she had been denied to be part of.

And while he shared his tales with her, told her of Wilf and of the stars, of free Ood and the Doctor Donna, his baritone voice all around them, he watched how steadily though slowly her eyelids stooped - exhaustion finally winning the fight over her body.

At last, her chest rose and fell with even and deep breaths and he fell silent.

Illuminated by the warm but artificial light that the lamps cast on her, she appeared to be at peace. Her blond hair was like a halo about her face, shorter than how she had worn it back with him, and with a slightly different shade, too. It suited her well, as did the clothes she was now wearing.  
They were darker, not a trace of the bright pink and red anymore that she once so loved to wear, though still as practical. But with her trousers black just like his own he couldn't help the frown that settled on his forehead as he allowed himself to truly consider her appearance, realized for the first time that he now could see a shadow of himself in her.

Beneath the surface she was wounded, scarred by what he had not been able to protect her from.  
Her new attire was a shell, a sign of how she had been forced to grow – a reminder of what the last two years had done to her. He had taught her how to wear the armour and if only for a split second he wondered whether it was not coincidence at all that her jacket was now made of leather.

She lay in front of him, weary and betrayed by fate itself. He wanted nothing else but to make it all undone. Only that he couldn't. He couldn't just take the burden from her, could not even take her to the stars until their new TARDIS would have grown. All he had to give was this battered human Time Lord that he was, for better or for worse.

He shifted on his spot, knew that maybe he should go, not watch her in her slumber, not intrude her privacy like this but he found his legs deceive him.  
He himself had claimed that they would better stay on their own tonight, thought that this was what she needed. He suddenly found he wasn't all that certain about it anymore.

His own muscles – still too new and still too unused - ached in protest, infused him with an unknown kind of fatigue that he had never experienced before and yet he couldn't find it in him to leave; seek his own room and recover. He craved her presence, craved to see her be alive and so very, very real. To be close to her so that he could reach out and touch her if only he dared, recognize her scent in the air. Hear the beat of her fragile single heart.

He couldn't bear to leave, no matter how much that dark voice in his head insisted that he should and so he just sat there, in her company, watching her like he had already done before. So many times she had fallen asleep in the library of his marvelous ship, trusting him with all that she was. Trusting him like, for a reason that he could not fathom, she obviously still did now.


	3. In the Light of Dawn

_**A/N: **__Again, thank you for the favourites and story alerts that reached my inbox. I am happy this story is received well so far and hope I will meet any expectations that readers may have on it._

_Also, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed. I make it a point to reply to any feedback given and usually do so via pm. As there have been guest reviewers as well though, I'll leave a little note for them here in the A/N._

_**Guest:**__ I must admit I kind of liked the meta-crisis subplot. Although I agree it seems a little odd that Rose would just accept getting a copy it was really the only happy ending she and the Doctor could have had in the show. I would have wished for the meta-crisis to have been Nine though, but well what's fanfiction there for but giving in to our cravings? ;)_

_**Purple Guest: **__ Aw, thank you a lot for those lovely reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the read so far.  
Indeed, only because she's in Pete's world now Rose wouldn't be any less jeopardy friendly. I think currently the focus must lie more with the situation at hand though and I deem it important that she and the Doctor get that sorted out somewhat before I throw them into any kind of adventure. Nevertheless, the same is already waiting for them back home in England. And yes, Nine would never force her to do anything unless her life depended on it, or at least that's my view on him. :)_

_Thanks for reading, everyone. I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter as well.  
TiaKisu_

* * *

**Chapter 2: In the light of dawn**

The Doctor stood at the window watching the world outside as it was bathed in the crimson sunlight of dawn.

Though the night had been long enough and his still new body weary sleep had not wanted to come over him. As it seemed there were quite a few things about him left that had not turned human after all and he appreciated that greatly for at least it meant he wouldn't have to spend what few decades he had left dossing his life away. He would definitely have to find out what else had stayed the same though he reckoned that this could just as well be done later when he wasn't as occupied with other matters, and less distracted.

Releasing a shallow breath he turned to look back at Rose who he heard stirring.

He had sat by her side for an hour, just watching her, before he had left his position to take the quilt that had been draped over the room's only chair and tucked her in, deciding she might be cold otherwise.  
He had been strangely reluctant about doing so and oddly terrified he might rouse her. As it had turned out she had welcomed it, unintelligible murmurs tumbling from her mouth while she had drawn the blanket closer about herself in her slumber. It had reminded him of when she had fallen asleep on him for the first time - after their unfortunate journey to Cardiff 1869 - and he had smiled.

He had still not been able to go afterwards, had merely retreated to the far end of the little room and regarded the sky.  
All those constellations that were just a tiny bit different from those their home universe knew and which seemed to call out to him with their history and their ever-changing existence.  
He had tried to reach for them - with his mind that still was that of a Time Lord – so very much aware of the coral bud that rested in his pocket, but all his quite remarkable intellect had been able to focus on instead was the pink and yellow human behind him. Deceiving thing that his brain was.

The words he had uttered had sounded endlessly in his head, and they still did - reflected by each sun and each planet that he spotted; this truth that he had never been able to disclose when he had still been double-hearted haunting him when he remembered all the reasons he had ever kept it from her for in the first place. And the reasons had not changed. Not much anyway.  
He was still a murderer, someone who left nothing but destruction in his wake – and he was afraid. Had been from the very day he had saved her down in that basement, at Henrik's.

Afraid when he had realized that he felt alive just because she was running with him, when she had spoken of a forever that he knew they couldn't possibly have – afraid when he had learned what it meant to see her timeline untangle from his own.

Even as a pretty boy he had made up so many excuses, had found so many reasons for not giving her what she had all too obviously wanted – and all of them were meant to protect him as much as her. But now that he was mortal in a way that frightened him more than he cared to admit, what did they count now? He had offered her his future, short as that would be compared to what he had before, and what if she accepted it?  
What if she did not?

She had hopped dimensions with means that quite frankly he didn't even want to think about only to return to him, to the one he had become after regenerating; had smiled and laughed and talked about mortgages of all things, about a life together with that version of himself who had come to existence only because of her. _For_ her. A man who was everything he had thought she'd wish for: handsome, with really great hair and so much less burdened.

But what she had gotten instead was him. If he hadn't already cursed this sick sense of humour that the universe all too frequently presented he would have done it now.

And still, despite it all, she had not shunned him when she could have had – back at the Crucible or on the beach. She had asked him and he had seen her in the hazel, that one human being that had once almost burned for who he was again, now. He just didn't know what to make of it.

Groaning quietly, he scrubbed his hands across his face, his skin rough though it had formed just a day ago, and rested his hip against the wall. With his pale gaze set on tousled blonde hair that disappeared under the quilt just a little further he waited for Rose to wake, resolved that he would simply see and accept whatever would come from this mess that made his head ache just thinking about it and which he couldn't really sort out just yet, support her in every which way he could even if she would decide that a life with him was not what she wanted.

And if indeed she took him up on his forever, well they would make it work somehow. If he didn't muck it up first that was.

.

Far too bright sunlight filtered through the window and tore Rose from much needed sleep.  
In that confusing state between consciousness and dreams that only ever blurred the mind when the day before was especially distressing images sped through her head, chased each other until she couldn't tell anymore which of them were related to reality and which were not: Pictures of her Doctor, pinstriped and grinning, pictures of him wearing leather, looking at her as if she was the most precious thing the whole of creation had ever brought forth. Voices and screams and fire; Jack and Donna and the golden blaze; words that had been spoken and a promise that lay beneath. A blue home disappearing on Bad Wolf Bay.

She whimpered quietly as slowly but steadily the fog pervading her thoughts cleared up, pulled the blanket just a little higher as if that might keep her from waking to a world that had changed so fundamentally and not at all.  
It did not.

Grateful that she didn't wear quite as much makeup anymore, Rose blinked drowsily through blackened lashes and grudgingly brought the world around her into focus: the bedside table that she had barely noticed the evening before and the cream coloured wall on which the clouds painted faint shadows amongst the light.  
She frowned momentarily, confused by what she saw and the odd sensation that there was something missing in the unfamiliarity of this place.  
It took her a second or two to shake off her sleep-induced disorientation, to sort through the nightly visions and what she recalled - decipher her surroundings as belonging to the bed and breakfast they had checked in yesterday. After she had ended up stranded in this universe – once and for all.

With that finding she instantly was wide awake, her hands clenching around the woollen quilt so tightly her knuckles where going white while simultaneously her heartbeat accelerated by quite an uncomfortable amount. Her breath catching in her throat she darted upwards, whiskey-coloured eyes scanning the whereabouts frantically.

The earlier events came crashing down on her without as much as a tinge of mercy and she turned around, legs swinging over the edge so that her feet could touch the ground.

Donna's family, a phone call that was answered, brown eyes that died but did not leave. The Crucible and a soul returned. The parting of ways.  
And Him.

Rose gasped as the memories washed over her, so tangible in their intensity yet strangely impossible in their content they left her with a feeling of dread that she had hoped to never experience again.

"Doctor!?"

The undisguised panic in her sudden call had him straighten up, his dark eyebrows raised. He meant to say something in return but was stilled when Rose caught sight of him right after.

With her eyes wide and her face drained of any colour she looked at him as if he were a ghost; as if she feared he might be but a figment of her mind, an illusion that would just disappear the moment that she blinked.

She watched him and he saw a myriad of emotions play in that brown that as he was reminded looked even more vibrant seen through those pale eyes of his. They flashed across the hazel faster than he could keep track, ranged from wonder all the way to doubt, touched sadness and, to his great surprise, relief.  
When at last the flood ebbed away she slumped, half-whispering.

"Tell me this isn't some weird kind of dream."

Unable to recognize the tone in her voice he frowned. She sounded afflicted, maybe apprehensive but also there was an element of desperate hope to what she said and it was the latter he felt himself cling to as he replied, somewhat puzzled: "Why - why would it be a dream?"

She hesitated for a second, remembered the last time she had woken up in a place like this and thought that he were there – that other version of him - but she couldn't share what had happened a few years prior to this day, not yet, instead pressed her lips into a tight line and closed her eyes. "Just tell me. Please."

He didn't miss the strain in her voice, or the way how she still grasped at the blanket as if in pain and he tensed just a bit before he managed to comply.

"It's not."

One long moment of silence, a beat of his one heart, then she nodded in understanding. "Good."

When she opened her eyes again she regarded him with tiredness etched on her face, took him in and he could just see a shadow of her earlier struggle in her features, the attempt to understand who he was but unlike the day before that struggle ended quickly and before he could even say another word she suddenly sagged back against the cushion, her legs now dangling over the rim of the bed as she noted matter-of-factly: "You stayed."  
What she was referring to with that exactly, she left for him to decide.

"M sorry, I shouldn't have."

His previous insecurity immediately returning he couldn't help but shift uncomfortably until he felt the wall hard against his shoulder blades, chose to apologize as he settled on that she would mean his continued presence here in the room that had been rented for her. Rose however just shook her head, as if his conclusion was ridiculous to her.

"Nonsense" she exhaled and although there was that bit of weariness in how she spoke it was easy to hear she really meant it. "I'm glad you did. If you hadn't I would've thought" she swallowed audibly and tilted her head so that she could look at him again out of the corner of her eyes "I would've thought I'd lost you. Just like before."

Although he was aware he should really have come up with a more eloquent response to that all he managed to produce in return was a startled and distinctly sheepish "Oh".

In the crimson and the orange that the sun cast on her he could see the telltale glimmer in her eyes, caused by the madness she had encountered - that sparkle of tears which he just knew would not fall, and it tore at him to see it there. She blinked them away, of course, heaved a shuddered breath and glanced up towards the ceiling.

"What time is it then?"

To someone else she would have sounded rather casual asking but the Doctor knew her better than that. Burying his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket he watched her intently while he answered: "Nearly seven. Sun's just come up."

"Breakfast's at eight" she sighed, drawing her hands up and pressing their balls firmly against her eyes, rubbing the stinging sensation away "Think mum said something about the cab coming at ten, right?" Not waiting for him to confirm the time their shuttle to the airport was to arrive she then withdrew her arms again, grimaced when she saw the black traces her mascara left on pale skin. "God, 'nd I must look a right mess."

While he felt he wanted to disagree he remained quiet, allowed her to collect herself as she combed through her hair with gentle fingers, an intense frown on her face. Recognizing the change of focus for what it was and understanding its purpose he followed her lead, relaxed a little while she muttered distractedly: "Definitely need a shower before we leave."

"You look jus' fine."

Much to his own bafflement the words were out before he'd even finished thinking them and for a split second he could feel the blood rush to his ears. Trust this mouth of his to belie him when it was most unfitting. But when she sniffed and in spite of herself released a breathy laugh he instantly was glad that it had.

"For a human, yeah?" she snorted, clearly not convinced but humouring him nevertheless.

He didn't even consider fighting this smallest of smiles that ghosted over his face at her quip, touched as he instantly was by that she recalled something from that far in their past so easily. And glancing at him Rose couldn't help but mirror his expression.  
Her lips bending slightly she shrugged, feeling a little more in control of herself and less shaken at last: "Well, I still need to shower though. And mum will hate it if we're late."

Half expecting the Doctor to comment on that she shifted on her spot until she had a better view on him. For his part though, he just furrowed dark eyebrows before suddenly he pushed away from the wall somewhat awkwardly.

"Yes" he began, cleared his throat and pulled his still pocketed hands together so that his jacket almost covered the whole of his jumper "Guess I'd better be waiting outside then. No point in giving 'er a reason to fall back on old habits."

With his back arched a little Rose was sure that there was something else he was poised to say but if that was the case he didn't act on it – his reticence and what she could only describe as his need to run at the smallest mentioning of domestics reminding her of how different he and his other self really were.

As he studied her for a little moment with that crooked smile of his that he only ever wore when it came to Jackie Tyler she could almost see his muscles quiver with restraint action and the observation quelled any thoughts of telling him that he didn't really have to go, that he'd seen her with wet hair often enough as to be uneasy about it.  
Instead she just watched how he set himself into motion, looking at her as if he asked for her approval, and it occurred to her in that moment that she would certainly have to get used to some of his old traits again. But to her own astonishment she instantly found that the notion didn't seem unsettling. If the alternative was not having him in her life at all she'd definitely take his newfound edginess any day.

He was already half way at the door when together with that realization another thought entered her mind out of the blue, irrational and yet almighty as it was, and before she could stop herself Rose was propped up on her elbows and blurted out: "Promise you won't just disappear?"

He froze instantly, sucked in a sharp breath as he recognized the question as one already asked, in another world.

"Rose." He turned until he met her gaze; let his own one soften hoping that would reassure her. In this one moment as he stood there time appeared to slow down to him, stretch endlessly between them.

"I won't go swannin' off if that's what you mean," he offered but knew straight away that this wasn't it. Eventually, he tried again.  
"I'll still be here." And pouring as much sincerity into his voice as he possibly could he gave her something that he had proven time and time again he abode by, or at least tried to with every means possible: "Promised."

When she moved her head in a small nod he could see in her eyes that she understood and more importantly that she believed him. He might be a biological meta-crisis and have grown from his own hand, might be something beyond her imagination but he would not just dissipate the moment he left this room. He was real - she had just needed to hear it from him, too.

He gave her another small smile, puffed out a long breath of air and then closed the little distance to the door. It clicked shut quietly behind him shortly after, leaving only silence to echo in the room.

On the bed, Rose let her head fall back. He had been gone for but a second and already it felt surreal to her. That he was here at all, this him, that she wasn't alone this time. It should have been impossible, should have been an easy choice or no choice at all.

When she had set out on this final journey back to her own universe she had expected to stay with him, pinstriped as he was, to roam the whole of time and space again with that version of her Doctor who was all maniac grins and words, so many words. Instead she had met Him again. All leather and quietness and it had hurt. Had hurt because it had ripped old wounds open - wounds that had turned into scars but which had never fully healed.

And she hadn't even known until she had seen him, had felt that intense grief the very moment his pale gaze was on her for the first time after so many years. What did you do when you met someone you had thought dead? Though dead seemed an incredibly wrong word for it because he had still been there and yet, nevertheless in a way it fit. Because this man he had been, the person, he had died. And now he was back again. Life with him was nothing but mental.

Producing a heavy sigh, Rose pushed herself into a sitting position and then got up.  
The bathroom was not exactly big but clean and the towels provided fluffy. Having been in her current clothes for a whole day and a night she would have wished for something to change into but for now the shower would have to do in terms of refreshing herself.

She undressed and stepped behind the curtain, turning the water on. While the warm stream started cascading down her back she rested her palms and forehead against the cool tiles, enjoying the two different sensations.

Her mind was still churning with the insanity of what had happened, her thoughts going everywhere and nowhere at once. As confused as she had felt back at the Crucible with both Doctors present as strangely conflicted did she feel now.

While the largest part of her realized with a deep sense of wonder that the Doctor, _her _Doctor, was with her in this world, a smaller one reeled with the loss of his other self. She would be lying if she pretended it didn't hurt to know she wouldn't see the Time Lord again who smiled so easily, who embraced the world and the universe itself and who sometimes forgot what he wanted to say when a sentence had just become too long and he distracted over speaking it.

She had learned to love him, too, and to appreciate his quirks even though at first she had not been able to see the Doctor in them. But once she had recognized him in the brown of his eyes, had understood what regeneration truly meant she had opened up her heart to him anew. And she had been terrified when he lay dying in her arms, about to change once more. Terrified because she didn't know if this time there would be something left of Him at all.

Each regeneration did not only create a new character and new looks, it also meant that emotions could change, that things he loved before, even people, could not be as important anymore – he had once admitted that to her himself though he had been adamant that it never meant forgetting. And she had been scared of looking into new eyes and not seeing that glimmer in them any longer, to not see the warmth and herself in their depths. The mere memory of that moment had her gasp and curl her fingers against the tiles. But it didn't happen, he hadn't changed, had still recognized her. And even more than that, he had returned to her.

The gentle spray entered her respiratory system together with the air, and Rose held her breath.

Her chest ached with suspended movement, the water on her skin like a drumbeat in her system. He had left and stayed with her at the same time, had given himself – this him she had always looked for in the depths of his brown – to her.

He had left in that body that could, the one that would eventually change again and maybe move on - that _could _move on if he wanted - when next he wore a new face. And he had given her his future as the man she had lost her heart to, so long ago.

She couldn't help the sob that shook her body as the realization truly sank in.

Suddenly all what she didn't have the chance to process earlier caught up with her, making her tremble. Her right hand flew to her mouth as she understood what he had done, and why.  
While fresh tears welled up in her eyes, melting into the clear stream of water that passed them by because she could not hold them back this time, she sank to her knees. Biting her lower lip she left out muffled cries of pain and joy, felt lost in the torrent of emotions.

She could never have abandoned him, his guarded self, and he had known. Had made the choice for her before she could have done. Now she had him back, to stay with her if she allowed him to. She both laughed and wept at the notion.

Nothing had ever hurt as much as losing him and nothing had ever felt as amazing as this. Because he had offered her a second chance.

Rose knew that she would always miss him, this incarnation of the Time Lord who loved suits and ties and who had bestowed this greatest and most impossible of gifts upon her but for once the sorrow didn't seem a burden. He had given her and him their very own forever and she treasured it, knew the very moment she became aware of how her heartbeat, single just like his was now, thrummed softly in her veins that she would try her hardest to make it be the best it possibly could be.

They were the Doctor and Rose Tyler, reunited, and if that didn't suffice then nothing ever would.


	4. Keeping the Faith

_Once again, thanks everyone for the new favs and follows. It really makes me happy to know that so far you like what I am doing with this. And I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter, too, even though it's a shorter one. :)_

_**Purple Guest: **__I certainly like to think they are fated to be together forever, yes. And I'm glad you like how I have them deal with the situation. Indeed, both of them don't want to screw this up and it will help them to make this work._

_**Disclaimer:**__ Just to make sure – I don't own Doctor Who, its world or its characters. I just usually forget to point that out; not that anyone would ever think we fanfic writers did own anything but better be safe than sorry, yeah?_

* * *

**Chapter 3: Keeping the faith**

The lobby was filled with the quiet murmur of guests who were already up as well. After having asked at the reception, Rose was directed towards a corridor opposite the stairway she had come down. Walking the short distance, once again taking notice of the various items that clearly were collected in different places all across the world, she soon arrived at the dining room.

As far as she could tell about ten tables, some of them fit for two occupants others for four, were distributed along the walls, leaving the centre for a rather large counter on which the buffet was served.  
With cream coloured tablecloths and curtains, and the warm brown of the furniture the room had a certain friendly atmosphere to it that Rose instantly decided she liked.

After she had emerged from the shower, feeling surprisingly relieved and more at ease than she could have hoped to with the recent events on her mind, she had put on her old clothes and dried her hair just enough to not be cold leaving the warm chamber.

Albeit she'd been rather sure that he wouldn't care, if he'd notice it at all, she had felt a little bit self-conscious as after risking a glance at the mirror and her makeup-less reflection she had made her way into the small hallway and over to the room named _Volda. _Back when she had still travelled with the Doctor she wouldn't have been caught dead wearing no mascara but not having brought any kind of beauty accessories on the trip back to her home universe a natural look simply had to do.

As was to be expected, though, nothing had happened when she had knocked at the wooden door.

There had been no sound but her own breathing and it had sufficed to tell her that he wasn't inside. Waiting for her he had probably met her mother and if that was the case, she had reckoned, she'd better hurry up and come to his help, whether the same was indeed needed or not.

However, walking past the first table now she had to realize that obviously he had been able to avoid Jacqueline Andrea Tyler.

"Rose," her mum called aloud as she walked up to her from over at the counter. With an empty plate in her hands it was easy to tell she had just been about to collect her breakfast but had changed plans the moment she had noticed her daughter enter.  
"Good morning, sweetheart," she greeted and quickly set the pottery aside on the nearest table that wasn't already occupied. Spreading her arms she drew Rose in a hug that was unusually tight even for the standards of a Tyler. "Did you sleep well?"

Her voice was decidedly warm and caring, Rose noticed, and it reminded her of how hard the day before must have been for her mother as well.  
She hadn't given Jackie much hope of ever seeing her again after her departure, had said what she had believed to be her final farewell the moment her team at Torchwood had found the right dimension at last. It was only fair to assume that in the end her presence was just as much of a miracle to her mum as the Doctor's was to her.

"Was good enough," Rose eventually replied, returning the embrace and allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of holding her mother in her arms. She might have been willing to say goodbye forever but that didn't mean she wouldn't have missed her, or that she didn't care. "You?"

"Oh you know me, love. When it's got a mattress and a pillow I can sleep everywhere."

Shrugging, Jackie drew back and sported a smile that seemed cautiously cheery. With her expressive gaze set on her daughter she had little success in hiding her concern and masking her scrutiny but for once Rose found she didn't mind either of them, even hummed good-naturedly in response: "I know."

While her hands slid down to give her mother's elbows a gentle squeeze, Rose reclined and it was when she did this that the older Tyler's gaze strayed behind her, somewhat searching.

Her forehead soon lying in wrinkles, Jackie frowned and for a moment she seemed uncharacteristically undecided about whether to say what was on her mind or remain quiet instead. In the end she went for the first.

"Are you and the Doctor all right," she questioned tentatively after what seemed like minutes but had been most likely just seconds, right as if she wasn't sure whether it was a wise move to address the matter, or the right time. "Would have thought the two of you'd come together."

There was no mistaking the tone in her voice and Rose felt herself shift her weight to her other foot uneasily at it. Thinking back on the evening before she realized just how awkward things had really been between her and the Time Lord before she had asked him to keep her company and it had her wince. No wonder her mum was worried.

"Did you at least talk to each other? If he's not..."

"We're good." The words were spoken quickly; cutting into her mother's speech before the wrong conclusions could be drawn. "Think we are, at least," she appeased "He just wanted to wait outside while I had a shower. Maybe meant that a bit literally then."

While she wanted to sound reassuring Rose couldn't quite manage to expel that hue of uncertainty that lay in what she said but had no time to fret about it as she became aware of how she had practically just admitted that the Doctor had stayed in her room for the night. And watching her mother's eyes narrow for a heart-beat she knew it didn't go unnoticed.

For a long while it appeared Jackie Tyler was torn between scowling and rolling her eyes but ultimately she just sighed.

"Sounds like that plum of an alien," she muttered with a hint of resignation, but right after relaxed visibly and continued before Rose could even begin to protest at the choice of word. "So you're okay with it then, both of you?"

Now it was on Rose to frown, her confusion showing in her features.  
"What' you mean?"

"That he's here, and his rude old self again, too," her mother clarified, studying her child with the assessing intensity that only a parent possessed and while what she spoke seemed to tell of little fondness, her voice clearly did not.  
Although the mechanisms of his existence were a riddle to her, Jackie Tyler had long since understood what that man meant to her daughter and whereas personally she might have liked the suited Time Lord better she would also accept him as his evasive self, if only Rose did.

"He's not rude," was the immediate reply she got, followed by an abashed "Not most times 'least."

That almost imperative need to defend him seemed good enough a sign to her and after raising one eyebrow in mock objection, Jackie prodded softly. "So?"

She was well aware that a straight answer wasn't what she would most likely get, the circumstances of the Doctor's presence too peculiar and so inextricably linked with his leaving to expect too much in such short a time but if what she heard now was devoid of rejection she knew that there was more than enough reason to keep the faith.

For her part, Rose seemed to consider the question for a second, inhaling audibly as she looked past her mother, her gaze unfocused.

"I'm not sure," the confession came slowly, hesitantly almost "don't know if he is."  
Involuntarily she thought back on how tense he had been, on how even earlier up in her room he had given off an aura of insecurity that somehow was unlike him but with her still sleep-affected brain that had only registered in a far corner of her mind. Now though it made her insides clench, knowing that she was at least part of the cause for his trepidation.

"And what about you?" Jackie's tone changed noticeably as she watched Rose with kind and compassionate eyes - not ignoring the statement but knowing better than to try and judge on it, showing instead that she would understand no matter what kind of answer was to follow. "Are you okay with it?"

It should have been too early for her to think of a reply, too soon for the question to be asked. She had only just lost his other self the day before and yet the younger Tyler had learned that the same was already to be found – when she had awoken in this world and been scared that he might have been but a dream.

Her lips parting Rose was so close to expressing that whisper on her mind, to tell her mother of that fear and the one moment in which something inside her had breathed for the very first time in years upon his reassurance that he wasn't just an image or an illusion, but although she wanted to no sound formed in her throat and in the end it was Jackie who spoke up again.

"It's all right, sweetheart. Just give it a bit of time." Lifting her left hand she eased back a stray strand of her daughter's hair and smiled warmly, as if Rose's reaction were all the response she had needed. "If anyone can figure this out, then it's you two."

While she studied that young face that had changed so much since the battle at Canary Wharf, those eyes that had acquired that touch of shadows that she had wished she would have been able to protect them from, she let her hand glide down in a caress.  
If someone had told her a few years back that she would once stand here, in a parallel world, with a twin of her dead husband, a second child and encouraging her daughter to just trust in who she and the Time Lord were, she would have given them a good piece of her mind. Now however, now it just felt right doing so – not that he had to know about that though.

"Don't tell him I said that," she added rather quickly, huffing for good measure and grimaced "He'll only think I've forgiven him for whiskin' you away in the first place." Then, she straightened her back.

Watching how Rose's eyes widened at the confidence that drew through her words Jackie turned slightly and went to pick her plate up again, deciding this had been enough of a private talk for a place like this.  
Tapping thoughtfully with her right thumb against the white pottery she stole a glance at the counter where other guests busied themselves with the buffet, and then looked back at Rose whose gaze by then showed a shy sparkle of amusement – elicited by her mother's last comment.

"I won't," the young blonde agreed softly while her lips curled in a faint grin that while a bit timid was honest. "Maybe I'd better go and find him though. Don't think either of us wants him to go hungry on the way to the airport."  
She didn't mean to cut this moment with her mother short but talking about the Doctor reminded her of what she had primarily come here for and it stirred the wish to continue looking for him.

Jackie, who could read her daughter well enough sighed in not so feigned exasperation as she latched on and quite intentionally invoked a change in colour of this conversation.  
"So he gets all grouchy then," she reasoned "Sounds just like your father's dad. Couldn't get near that man until he'd had his breakfast; was the dearest after his beans and egg but God forbid you met him before the morning tea."  
Noticing how Rose's expression lightened up at this, she snorted but the sound was distinctly good-natured and just as she had hoped it had her child chuckle.

"He's not quite as bad as granddad though," Rose pointed out, shaking her head slightly, amending.

"I won't believe _that_ until I see it."

While her mum put her left hand on her hip as if for emphasis, pointing the plate into her direction with the right one, Rose couldn't help the laugh that escaped her.  
It had been far too long since the two of them had had such a light-hearted conversation and about the Doctor, too, and she instantly revelled in how good it felt to be at ease like this.  
Standing there in the entry to the dining room, other guests filtering in and filling it with friendly chatter, the world suddenly seemed a good bit brighter to her and her mother's words never more valuable.

"Mum?" Her voice was gentle as she addressed her, the grin fading to be replaced by an appreciative smile. Rose had not forgotten just how difficult the relationship between the Prentice woman and the Time Lord had been before his regeneration and considering he was now the same man again her mother's support was even more meaningful to her.

As gentle grey eyes looked at her expectantly she darted forward and enveloped her mum in a quick hug, breathing a heart-felt "Thanks" as she did so. But before Jackie could even respond to either the gesture or the word spoken, she already drew back again and declared: "Won't be too long I hope. Save us a place, yeah?"

With that and a wink Rose turned on her heels, heading back towards the reception. She had a fair enough idea where to look for the Doctor and with her mother's vote of confidence still fresh in her ears she set off to find him.

What she didn't see was the fond expression on Jackie's face as she watched her daughter go.

Whether she liked it or not, but already she could see a change about her child, the weight that was lifted off these young shoulders with each moment that they both lived in a world that had Him in it as well. She suspected that Rose herself might not even be aware of it yet, but to her it was obvious and although she knew that things wouldn't always be easy between them for once in her life Jacqueline Tyler was truly grateful. Grateful for the presence of that one impossible Time Lord.


	5. The turn of the Earth

_**A/N: **__My apologies for the late update. Life was busy and the chapter a pain to edit, although it shouldn't have been. But as soon as I adjusted one thing I always found another that I wasn't happy with, and I never publish something when I'm not content with the result myself. I still think it's far from being a masterpiece but at least I like it now. It's calm and a little slow-paced but I think Rose and the Doctor needed such a moment. And I hope you agree._

_**Purple Guest: **__I'm glad you like how I portrayed Jackie. Indeed she's learned what it means to be given a second chance, and just how important the Doctor really is to her child. All the same, she has also learned that things like that aren't always as easy (for sure there were some rough patches for her and this Pete as well) and it made her wiser.  
Indeed, communication is the key. Luckily for the Doctor, Rose has always been talented in breaking through his walls and in turn he knew just when to be there for her._

_Again, thank you everyone for the new favs and story alerts that reached my inbox. You have no idea how happy it makes me that people like what I am doing here!_

_Hope y'all have got a lovely weekend ahead!_

_TK_

* * *

**Chapter 4: The turn of the Earth**

She found him the very moment she opened the old but lovingly adorned front door, her fingers gliding over the painted surface as she walked through.

A good few feet away from her he stood with the sun and the skies before him; and with the world beneath.

His form was slightly hunched, his hands buried deep into the leather again as he seemed to be lost in thought. With his pale gaze hefted on the ground and the distinct trace of concentration on his face he looked every bit the man who had once told her to forget him and move on with her life. Every bit the one that ever since she had been drawn towards like a moth was to the flame.

Around them both, the wind rustled softly in the trees - a mild breeze that twirled her hair as if in play but that did not seem to touch him at all.  
Detached and tall, unearthly almost in his appearance he lingered in the warm morning light, a living testament to days gone by.

The sight had her freeze for just a heartbeat.

It had been so long since she had last seen him like this, since she had really seen the Time Lord in him. Too long since his looks had last betrayed what he truly was. It was surprisingly easy to forget about his origin when pinstripes and Converse came together with a spirited mind and a deep affection for her people but there was no mistaking him for a human now. Ironic as that was.

Rose swallowed hard as she approached him, for some reason as quietly as the pavement and her shoes allowed. She remembered the expression well, that distant glow in his eyes which she could see even from afar and she didn't know whether she could dare and break him from his reverie. In the end she simply tried.

"Feeling the Earth turn?"

Even to her ears her voice sounded strange - soft yet unsteady and at first she thought he might not even have heard her because he showed no sign of acknowledging her presence. But as she took yet another step towards him his head whipped upwards and he turned; eyes wide with an unsaid question that proved she could still read him after all.

"Yeah" He breathed after a moment that was filled with naught but the whistle of leaves and grass; frowned as he searched her face for something she couldn't quite make out.  
While his gaze lay on her she watched him calmly, let him study her until suddenly the grey of his irises turned into a shade of blue and his features lit up a little the second he released a short laugh. "Yeah, I did."

If she hadn't noticed the surprise in his words or how mesmerized he was she wouldn't have known him at all. Almost it seemed like he hadn't expected to still be able to sense the planet's rotation and it made her wonder whether this new body of his meant any other changes than the ones he had mentioned the previous day.  
Offering him a small smile though, she let go of the thought because she really didn't think it apt to address that matter now, and asked instead: "Is it any different, from home I mean?"

It was a pointless thing to address; in any case it wasn't what she had sought him out for but now that sleep and tiredness didn't cloud her perception any longer she didn't miss how there was still something in the air between them, a tinge of unfamiliarity that she wanted to be gone.

It _was_ weird being here with him while at the same time he was also an entire universe away, living a life without her when all she had wanted was to be at his side again, and there were still so many things that she had yet to come to terms with but that didn't mean that anything had changed. Not for her, not when it came to him – never when it came to this him he was again. Talking had helped the night before; maybe there was reason to assume it was a start now, too, even if the topic was such an unimportant one.

"A bit." He half-shrugged and tilted his head - quite obviously assessing her, like he was startled by her enquiring - before he set about to answer with more detail as if aware of what she wanted. "Speed's the same, 's got to be, and the orbit's, too. Wouldn't be mornin' now if it wasn't but -"

Although he trailed off, brows furrowing in barely masked irritation since the fitting words eluded him, she listened attentively.  
If she were able to speak the language of his people he could have named her every little shift he felt, could have described each and every disturbance but once more the Doctor found that the tongues of men just didn't suffice. Too simple, and too restricted – none of them would do. Rose however, brilliant as she was, managed to understand. He had no idea just how she did it.

"I know." Her head moved in an unconscious nod and she averted her gaze to glance at the horizon. "Can't quite name it but it's there."

Then she paused a little, maybe searching for words herself. When she continued, she sounded just a little wistful.

"Didn't realize it first time we landed here, guess we were too busy with the Cybermen 'nd everything, but after Canary Wharf… It's like you're in a place that you think you know, there's even your old playground, but something's off. First letter on a street sign, or the display in a shop - stupid little things that you'd never even known were there at all but suddenly they matter." She frowned a bit, reminiscing. "Drove me mad at first. 'Course neither mum nor Mickey ever bothered, thought I was imagining things. Kept saying that if anything it was the zeppelins that made a difference but it wasn't that. Eventually got used to it; just sometimes I still notice."

There was a breath of silence between them after that and Rose suspected he was processing the little monologue that she hadn't planned on holding. When she shifted to look at him again, he cleared his throat.

"That might be my fault then." He remained calm and unmoving as she raised an eyebrow at him, her curiosity piqued. "Travellin' through the vortex can do that, sensitize you - raises your awareness for disparities between places, times and even dimensions. Doesn't usually last though. I guess I should've told you."

While she considered the information given, not immediately responding to his explanation, he hunched his shoulders.

"D'you wish you wouldn't feel it?"

To someone who didn't know him better he only sounded worried but just beneath the surface Rose could hear that hint of pride that he would always show whenever she astonished him. Somehow it was good to know that she could still do that.

Funny enough, to her it had never occurred that her time on board the TARDIS might have been the cause for her ability to perceive any differences, intangible as they were, much less that it wasn't actually normal that she could still discern them even if not as strongly as before. The realization had her struggle a bit with her answer.

"No. I mean, some days I do." She reckoned she owed him that honesty. "But it's alright I guess, actually helped me with the jumps. Was good to know I'd returned to my team at Torchwood here and not ended up somewhere else."

Why exactly she brought that up, she didn't really know. It just had crossed her mind and for once her mouth had been faster than the brain controlling it.

For a second she scrunched her nose as involuntarily she thought of the many parallel worlds that she had visited and the various versions of Torchwood institutes she had come in contact with and that initially she had believed wouldn't even exist. No other Doctor, no other Torchwood – it had sounded logical enough but she had rather quickly been proven wrong.  
It seemed their Queen Victoria wasn't the only one to have been chased by the Werewolf and the foundations that existed in a good many dimensions had at some point or the other all learned that for the bigger part their monsters were in fact not born on earth. Of course, taking that into account a dimension hopping blonde hadn't exactly been too welcome an occurrence to most of them, especially not with the stars going out above their heads. But whenever she had not been able to slip their attention she had done her best to convince the agents that she was no danger to their worlds and that they better let her do her job. Usually, it had worked, too. Usually.

Absent-mindedly Rose worried her lower lip as the memory of a particularly difficult trip grazed her mind unbidden but she stopped short abruptly when she saw the Doctor's eyes narrow with something that bordered on disapproval and stood in stark contrast to the almost silly grin he had worn back in the TARDIS, when he'd still been brown-haired and freshly healed.  
But maybe the scowl was aimed at the institute he had a certain right to be unhappy with, and not her and what she had done. Nevertheless, she thought it better to change the topic.

"Anyway." Coughing slightly, she shuffled her feet a little uneasily. Things hadn't really gone too well so far. "Breakfast's ready, thought you'd like to come?"

He eyed her for yet another long moment, his expression unreadable and for once she felt almost uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze – something that had never occurred when its colour had been made of earth. But despite his heavy scrutiny she ventured to make another attempt of diverting his attention from whatever had so suddenly vexed him and forced a smile back on her face.  
This had to be a good one.

"They have bananas in there."

Bewildered, he blinked; obviously taken off-guard by the declaration which was so utterly random and unexpected that finally that flash of irritation vanished from his face. She had hoped that _that_ would do the trick and set about expanding on it, immediately glad that she had spotted the yellow fruit on the table inside.

"You still like them, yeah?"

"Of course I do," he was surprisingly quick to confirm, shaking off his momentary confusion and making an effort to sound notably affronted - right as if the very idea that he might not favour them anymore was most ridiculous and she couldn't help the grin that conquered her lips when he added pointedly: "Bananas are good."

Watching how his own mouth bent in a smirk that he just couldn't hold back Rose instantly felt her spirits rise.

Without so much as another word said, with but a look and a smile, the distance between them was finally gone again and how she had missed it: To see him lower his walls for her; be at ease in her company just like he'd been all those many years ago.  
It very nearly made her forget about the madness they had gone through and she treasured the sensation.

"So it's a date then?" she clicked her tongue, feeling unexplainably cheerful all of a sudden while she cocked her head in invitation.

Unforeseen by her however the Doctor sniffed quietly in response to that and sobered. Wrinkling his forehead he grimaced before he noted with genuine concern: "That'd be breakfast with your mother."

Now it was her turn to blink at him, startled.

"You're not tellin' me – You're still scared of her?" Once she caught on she all but laughed, unable to hide her amusement despite her best efforts. "You had Christmas dinner with her!"

"Different me. Doesn't count," he dismissed perhaps a little bit too easily and felt a pang of regret the moment that was spoken.

It did no good to remind her that he wasn't that man anymore, the one who had laughed and even enjoyed that particular evening, but when she showed no visible sign of hurt or sadness he instantly felt himself breathe easier. Well aware of how the mood between them had shifted almost dramatically, and in a good way, he relaxed.  
Briefly the question came to his mind whether that had been her purpose right from the beginning, considering she had been the one to initiate this conversation – and he certainly wouldn't put that past her - but he decided not to dwell on the matter.

Struggling to keep up the fight when Rose's smile was disarming him faster than he felt comfortable with, he didn't even bother to point it out to her that Time Lords were never frightened of humans - she wouldn't believe him anyway. Instead he arched his neck, futilely attempting to give himself air. "Never been fond of this face, she was."

"Yeah, but that was because you brought me back a year late." This time she snorted and he knew the very moment that reached his ears that he had lost his case quite spectacularly.

Drawing his hands from his pockets and crossing his arms in front of his chest he tried to save whatever was left of his dignity, muttered a defensive "The point still stands" and inwardly shook his head at just how it could have happened that he had gotten from aiming to distract himself from all the thoughts that weighed on him and discovering that he could still sense the movement of a planetary object in the process, to unsuccessfully trying to avoid domestics with Jackie Tyler. Leave it to Rose to do that to him.

Next to him, so close that he could reach out for her if only he dared, the young blonde still displayed a radiating smile, obviously taking endless delight in his misery.  
What he didn't know was how for a split second she considered telling of the conversation she had just had with her mother and of the change in the other woman's view on the Time Lord. But guessing he would probably panic if he knew that Jackie was quite inclined to let him into their life she opted for other means of convincing him, encouraged by his expression that just wasn't quite as sour as he'd liked it to be.

"I'm sure you'll survive, and you have me to watch your back. That counts for something?"

The vote of confidence, as had to be anticipated, merely elicited a wary look but her assurance of support had the desired effect for it had his features soften.

Rolling his pale eyes, a grumbling sound escaping from his chest at the same time, he finally caved in. "A bit, yeah."

Already the corners of his lips twitched, belying that suffering glance he shot her and he had to give up his pretence completely when she snickered.

"Come on then," she coaxed breezily "Bananas are on me" and then, without so much as a warning, the tip of her tongue was in between her teeth, showing just a tiny bit but it was enough for his breath to hitch in his throat.

He hadn't seen that smile in years and only now did he realize how much he had yearned for it – more than surely could be named reasonable.  
She had worn it so often when she had first travelled with him but after his regeneration it had become a rare thing to see. He had not thought of it much then, too easily distracted by too many things as he had been - and them still enjoying their time together had certainly been a big number on that long list; and then she'd been gone and he had never really noticed.

Now though he did and it had his one heart swell because it was something that made him feel special as the one he was – battle worn and gruff and with eyes that still were so old. He wondered if she even was aware of that smile and the effect it had on him.

While Rose waited so that he could catch up with her he forced his lungs back into action before at last he set himself into motion. Unfolding his arms he stopped when at her side and waved towards the entrance, insisting in mock gallantry: "After you."  
Maybe she thought otherwise, but he wasn't fool enough to go in first.

"You're such a baby." The exasperated sigh she produced in return was counterbalanced by her laugh and followed by an offended "Oi!" from the Time Lord, the sudden playfulness between them astonishing him as much as her and rendering them silent.

For an instant they just looked at each other, surprised but content and it was in this moment that both of them understood that maybe they could do this. Become who they once were and emerge from this mess unscathed. It certainly was worth the try.

As Rose studied those grey eyes she had once thought lost the Doctor stepped back a little, breaking the spell and prodding her to go ahead.  
Some things would obviously never change and maybe that was good. She had no idea at all where they would go from here, what they would do with the words spoken, left behind as they both were but somehow she didn't really mind. She had learned what it meant to lose him, two times; she didn't want to ever experience that again.

For now, the only thing that counted was that they remembered each other and as for the rest - she guessed that for once in her life her mother was right. Everything took its time and as she fell into an easy rhythm walking ahead of him, back towards the dining room, she was determined to give him and herself just that. Time - because, in the end, even they needed it.


End file.
